Farewell, my dear love
by DustyJJ
Summary: To be in love, memories are made. But when he forgets, what would become of their fate?
1. Prologue

**Together since young,**

**What was meant for ceaselessly is now broken,**

**What was meant for temporary is now forever,**

**To lose you, I lose my heart too.**

**Dear love**

**What should I do?**

**Grasp on and hold on**

**Or farewell and seal forever?**


	2. To find my love

_Opps nearly forgot at again: disclaimer- I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, they belong to the magical Mrs Stephanie Meyer, without her, the vampire world will never be the same :) _

**Hello!**

**We meet again! Anyway, I intended this to be a happy release, because I have finished all my exams for this season, but I've had a hard day so I don't feel like the mood to make a happy introduction to the story. Sorry I had to moan a little.**

**So, I'm going to make this short: this is a story that popped into my head while I was thinking about Charm de la Mirage, and I do intend to finish the story- sorry you couldn't get rid of me, but I'm only getting started :)**

**This story in its own way is quite inspirational for me, as I could explore characters more. So this is like a sub, but don't get me wrong! Charm de la mirage could not overshadow this. This is far more unique. But this will be like a story where I could come back to it when I have so called writer's block in the future, I did have a short period of them- funny, I know, but I did. This will not have regular updates, but bear in mind that Charm de la mirage won't be either because of my actual life requires me to study and work like a slave.**

**There were a lot more I wanted to say before my hard day happened, but since it was quite depressing for me, I don't really want to talk too much and waste my time in writing the stuff when no one would be reading the author's note.**

**So I hope you enjoy this, hopefully someone will feed me brain food, because at this state of my brain, I'm malnourished, I'm drained after exams and more exams, the only things that actually fuelled me was other people's fanfic. And the need to get this story out of my head, you have no idea what have been going through my head while I was sitting all my papers, they are ridiculous, I was supposed to think scientifically, but instead I went to fantasy land, and nearly spoke out loud in a quiet room full of people, with a rule that you are disqualified if you talked, crazy right? There, I've given you a piece of my life :/**

**Enjoy :)**

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Twenty one degrees. Alaska. Even though I have expected such extreme weather, but this was not something I'm going to get used to. Even if I was raised in one of the rainiest and most depressing place in America, Forks- constantly covered with grey clouds and canopy of greens and wood.

The reason why I have came to a place where it was like an outdoor refrigerator was for the news of Edward Masen. I have not heard from him for two months now. And a few weeks ago, the death of Edward senior and Elizabeth Masen has gotten to my dad's police station, where my dad, Charlie, serve as the chief of police to the good people of Forks.

Since from all we could remember, Edward and I has always been together. We'd shared cookies when we were young, always fresh from mother Masen's oven. And my mom, Renée's experimental milkshakes. Even though we were young, we always knew each other to be special until we were mature enough to know what it was. We didn't make a big deal out of it. But everyone in town knows that we were inseparable.

We had been in the same town for all our life, in the fall of last semester, the news of Edward senior's promotion gotten through town. And that was when we had to separate. And it was when the Masen family had moved to Alaska that the whole family had come in contact with the deadly flu, leading to the death of Edward's parents.

Walking out of the airport, I started to plan what I am going to do next. The biting snow in front of me encouraged me to pull my coat closer.

"Bella" I turn around to find Aunt Clara, and my cousin Annie in her arms.

"Hey Aunt Clara" I said while trying to give her a hug in this awkward position with my little cousin in her arms. It was nice to have relative in a place unfamiliar to you; it's like a sun in the middle of nowhere, keep you heated, and could guide you to the better. "Looking good Annie" I said while ruffling her curly locks that seems to run through Charlie's side of the family.

"Bella bear bear!" she grinned, trying to do the same with my hair.

"Come on Bella let's get you home out of this cold, I don't know about you, but I'm cold already out in this snow for just the two minutes." Aunt Clara said to me while bending down to help me with my suitcase.

"It's fine Aunt Clara, you hold onto monkey Annie and not let her fall, I've only got one piece anyway" I winked at her. When we got to their small blue car, I loaded my suitcase in the bumper while Aunt Clara strapped Annie in at the front.

In the car, I whacked my brain for something to break the silence. "Thanks for coming to pick me up by the way and letting me come stay with you while I find Edward, Aunt Clara".

"It's okay Bella, Annie here was excited to see her cousin Bella bear bear again, weren't you darling" she said towards Annie, making her giggle with blush- another gene that runs through the family's DNA. And the conversation continued with some catching up since Aunt Clara's last visit to Forks. The car journey back to my Aunt Clara's house was short, but shown me plenty of snow scenery, which I thought was a bit too much and wonder what has gotten Aunt Clara and Uncle Nick to make the decision of moving up here. After arriving at the small but cosy home to Aunt Clara and her family and got all my stuff sorted, I wasted no time in trying to find Edward. I thought the hospital would be a great place to start and began my hunt at the hospital where Charlie was told that the Masens had been look after at.

The hospital was packed full, with people coughing and sneezing everywhere, the typical hospital, and flu symptoms covered everyone's face. The nurse was extremely helpful and helped me find some details on the Masen's family. "I'm afraid Edward and Elizabeth Masen have both passed away sweetheart" the petite, blonde nurse told me.

"Um, yea, I was told they were, but I want to know if their son, Edward junior is still here or is he...?" I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence, afraid that I won't get to see him again. She typed some more into the system.

"No, we never got another patient named Edward Masen" the first word has gotten the stone someone has placed in my heart the moment Charlie told me about father and mother Masen. I was relieved, it was wrong in the first place any way. Edward wouldn't leave me without a good bye. But it didn't make sense that he hadn't talked to me for so long either.

"Sorry to keep bothering you, I could see that you're busy, but I wonder if I could transfer Masens and their bodies back to Forks, where we could all pay tribute to them and organise a funeral for them." That is the only thing I could do now. To help rest them in peace and hopefully the rest of the town would do the same too, they were a very noble family, even to everyone in the small town.

"I'm sorry, but we can't let minor like you take away patients' bodies, unless you're a close relative, besides, their body have been claimed a few days ago, the data shows me." It must have been Edward, I missed him by a few days. Where could he be with his parents' dead bodies? I hate to think about the fact that he is suffering quietly somewhere and not telling me, or not letting anyone know, and even worse; he is not taking care of his body properly.

Deciding that I could not get anything more out of the hospital, I thanked the nurse and made my way back to Aunt Clara's. The rest of the weekend I tried going to some social support and community centres in hopes in finding news of Edward, but there was not even signs that he has been heard of. Even though I want to use all my time to find Edward, but I was still a minor, so under the law I have to attend the local high school at least two hours a day. Making this a flaw in my stay in Alaska, as I do not know anyone my age who could help me with my first day.

Monday, the dreaded day has finally arrived. The campus was much bigger than the one in Forks, the student body population; at least seventy percent bigger than Forks.

The second I got dropped off by Aunt Clara and waved Annie off, a tall boy came to my side and introduced himself "Hey, so you're the new transfer student Isabella Swan right? I'm Peter, part of the student rep here." And he took his hands out for a shake. I automatically responded and shook his hand.

"Hi, um, yes, but please call me Bella, I'm not officially a student here but I'll be doing some study sessions here, yes" I smiled.

"Nice to meet you" I added

"Nice to meet you too, I could show you to the student office if you want" he offered.

"That will be great, thank you, it won't be too much trouble though, right?"

"Of course not! Please, don't over estimate yourself" he winked. And we started off to a set of high stairs.

On the way, he was greeted by people and introduced me to some of them too. My estimate; he is the respected lead in the school council.

Reaching the top, it was a busy car park with student treading over the white melting snow. The sudden cool air blew the familiar bronze shade into my view. It was strands of messy tousled hair, set on top of the angular head, with high cheek bones, and a pair of honey golden eyes. Everything about him screamed Edward, but no, Edward can't be like that, he has the jaded eyes off mother Masen. And his skin, far too pale for all the images I've had of him since the first time we've met.

To make sure I have not got it wrong, I looked back to his eyes to find him staring at my direction. The honey tone now told me the story of a lost soul and vivid warmth.

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**Anyone gon na feed me brain food now?**

**:)**

**Until next time, stay well :)  
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	3. The pain comes to find me

_Opps nearly forgot it again: disclaimer- I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, they belong to the magical Mrs Stephanie Meyer, without her, the vampire world will never be the same :) _

**Hello!**

**Update for you:)**

**I'm not sure what to say so: just hope you enjoy and feed me my brain food :)  
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It wasn't long before I realise that he is looking at me and holding me in his gaze.

"You're under the Cullen's charms as well, huh?" Peter came up behind me. "Cunning Cullen's and the Denali's." He chuckled like it was a joke.

"Huh?" I turned my head to tell him that he has got my attention.

"Well, since their first day here, everyone's attention has been on them, they're called the Hollywood of Alaska high, without all the drama though, they sort of keep to themselves." He lift up his hand to gesture for me to go first. My feet began to sludge through the thick layer of white stuff.

"Who are they? Exactly?"

"Well Dr Cullen and his wife and their adopt children moved down just about a month ago, they're both young, they're in their early twenties. And the kids, just the few years younger than them. The bronzed hair guy, who you were staring at, was Edward Cullen." Edward, I stifled a laugh, what are the odds, nearly the same face, same features, around the same age with the same name too. Peter lifted his eye brows trying to figure out what I was laughing at. He mouthed a 'what'.

"Nothing, just that I know someone who has got the same name too, and they sort of look the same."

"Boyfriend?"

"No"

By the end of the conversation we reached a table labelled 'Student office'. He introduced me to a petite lady and waved me off.

"Hello dear, welcome to East Alaska High, I have a slip here for you to get the teachers I will be taken lessons with to sign." Because it was my first day here, I was required to be in the full day. "And I want to introduce to you the options we have here. Now, we have three options: one is the current one that you're introduced to already, you do two hours a day five days a week. Or there's the second option where you come to school for a full day and a half per a week. Or the last one, kind of like home schooled, the teachers would organise the work for you and you get the work done send it in and get them marked." She smiled to me, reminding me of Mrs Cooper back at Forks high school.

"Um, I think I'll be alright with the one I've already been offered thanks." But I've made a mental note of the options for just in case.

"Ok dear" she then handed me a map of the school and my schedule, and gave me directions on which route to take is the best, and the most warming route, which, I am forever in her debt as I realise how much the difference makes. The temperature, is just not great for me, too cold, even for a person raised in place that are supposed to be cold many days of the year.

My day has a down side as I have been around school seeing Edward Cullen, with his family and friends. The guy who looks just like the Edward I knew for all my life. Both their face is just too alike to stop my imagination going wild. Every time I see his face, it just made me question whether or not Edward is well or not. Whether he is feeding himself often enough. And has his tears stopped yet.

The routine of going to school, seeing an Edward, being reminded of my Edward constantly and then searching for him none stop continued for a few weeks. Until Renée rang from Forks.

"Bella, darling, You've got quite a few letters in the post. And I think one of them is from Edward from the looks of the handwriting."

"Mom! Really! Um, can you open it and read it for me please?"

"Bella, let me finish girl! I've actually sent it a few days ago to Alaska to Aunt Clara's place. You should get it within the few days." The news of hearing from Edward has somehow woke me up, like I was in dreamland in the past weeks, there was nothing to focus on or try hard on being normal on. The only thing that had me going was the need to prove to mom and dad that they're nearly seventeen year old daughter could be herself without the boy from her childhood- which I am having trouble to convince them and myself. And the need to see him again. I feel useless, like I could not do without him, earlier in my life I have never needed to worry about it, but I guess I have been taking things for granted too much.

"Bella... Bella... Are you still there, or do I need to call an ambulance for you all the way up in Alaska? You're freaking me out here. ISABELLA MARIE SWAN! If you don't answer me the next second I'm going to really be running around in the..."

"Mom.. Mom.. I'm still here, I'm sorry I was deep in thought." I could actually imagine Renée running around even now. She is known for jumping the gun. "Actually, mom, I'm a little bit behind with some stuff, can I call you back later? And it's going to be twelve thirty at night soon, I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you when I get back with double chocolate milkshake" With my mom, you could do a lot of making up to her with the smallest things. And the fact that she is still so young at heart, it's easy to brighten her days with just milk and cookies and some talk time. I said my goodbyes and hanged up. Went to said good night to Aunt Clara and Uncle Nick, and I went to bed.

I ended up as usual dreaming of Edward. It started to became more intense when I first seen Edward Cullen. In my dreams, his skin is not soft any more, and he always seems to be depressed, it seems like he was worried. And the fact that we are always in the centre of a forest bed, where the sun is blocked is quite abnormal. But I didn't care, it was the only place to see him and hear him. This came to an end when little Annie came in banging my door against its frame.

"Bella bear bear! You've got mail!" And she handed me a white envelope with Edward's perfect hand script on.

"Thank you Annie."

"You're welcome, open!"

"Sure will!" I said ruffling her hair, which she seems to like. When the envelope's mouth was half opened I found my hands trembling. The result of not knowing what to expect, but I eagerly opened it as I am too desperate to care.

_Dear Bella,_

_I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Nothing can I ever say would forgive me for the sin I have committed. You may have heard that my parents are now dead. And so was my heart when I was by their sides. But she stood by me, the only reason I have not broken up was because of her. She is the reason why I'm still sane and whole now. I'm sorry. I can not love you anymore. I'm sorry. I promise you will not see me nor hear from me ever again. Nothing can I say would ever stop myself from hating myself. But one thing that I want from you, out of greed, and from the deepest in my heart, please, stay well. And love yourself, don't give up faith in love. I promise love will find its way back to you again. I'm sorry I could not give you my love. I'm sorry._

_Edward._

I find my visions blurred with ripping noises coming from my chest. Edward, my love has abandoned me.

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Confusing right? What has happened! Hasn't Edward forgotten Bella? So whats with the 'found someone else' letter?

Feed me my brain food and you'll find out sooner :)

Until then, stay well :)


	4. The one

**Hello:)**

**Update for you! Fresh from the brain ;)  
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**Thank you very much for the not one, but two reviews! It has been really good brain food as they are the first view reviews I've gotten since I've started writing Fanfiction :)**

**Anyway, sorry it's a short update, but I want to do some stage building, and character/plot filler. But I think it should be good enough to be a chapter of it's own.**

**So since I should be in bed half an hour ago, I should hand you over and let you read :)**

**Enjoy:)**

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I can't control it, the feeling of hopelessness coursed through my veins. I was in a defenceless state. How could he? Leave me with just a letter, I can't even see him for the last time, check that he is well. Leaving me with just a letter, saying a good bye forever and the compromise that love will find me again, but how? I could see no hope. I could only drown in my own tears and the noises ripping violently from my chest.

Forgetting that I had Annie in my lap, until she was wiggling like a worm, trying to pull me back together. I wanted to stop; this must be a rare emotion for her- even terrifying. I could see that she is now screaming; may be for the help of a grown up.

Unable to contain my yet to erupt again emotion any more, I drop her on the bed, along with the burning letter that my ice cold hands have numbly kept close to as evidence of the farewell. I shot right out of the room, down the stairs and into the frosty front yard. Into the canopy of snow covered trees.

Running into the depths of the forest, I could feel my legs raw, and scratched as I have left shoes at the house. My fingers and legs starting to numb, forgetting that I'm still in my night gown, my body pulsed aggressively, trying to make up some warm. This physical pain could not be compared to the throbbing of my heart. If my body is struggling in the surface of water; fighting for oxygen. My heart is sinking into the depths of despair in the vast ocean, shattering apart, as it is getting lost into the darkness that is shadowing my sight.

Protesting to go further, my numbed legs have bent down and sank into the soft snow. I was on a quest to empty all my contents, so I could not feel the sting in the pieces of broken up heart banging harshly against my chest to supply my oxygen and pain any more. In attempt, my arms reached forward to dig my way through, and managed to set myself back onto my frozen feet. I scattered forward again, only to be met with the consequence on falling back into a pile of snow under a tree.

I feel drained, only physically, not my heart. So I've let my body set mould into the soft snow. Letting my tears and screams flowing out of me, finally I let the despair take full control. How could he do this?

How could Edward say goodbye? I was there to smile for him when he has had a bad day. He was the one to come to my aid when I was in tears. He was the one to ask me to the first spring dance. We were next to each other when we struggled for the justice of life through people's eyes. He was the one to kiss me first on the day of the temporary goodbye, but now turned into forever farewell.

Even with fabric clinging onto my body; I feel bare, empty. The goodbye has taken away all my possession within me. I could no longer hope that one day I will find him again. One day I will see him again. And One day I might kiss him again. I could not see the shine that his presence used to lead me into my future anymore. I have no future with him anymore. He is the one to hurt me. He is the one turning my own possession against me.

After time, I let the eye lids finally draw down to a close, to shade me from the brightness of the sun that is melting me. And let the numbness from my fingers and legs advance towards my core. And hear the crisp sound of squashed snow becoming more intense, with caution, as if being withheld from its own activity. Maybe there was hope after all, that some animal from wild Alaska will come and put me out of the misery, end it now, end me.

The weak eyelids struggled poorly in attempt to find out what is to come. In the blurry vision there was a tall figure, with gold tinted circle that stood out from the rest of the vision.

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**Who's it gon na be?**

**Feed me brain food and let me write some juicy lines for you next time ;)**

**Sorry this is short and depressing in more than a way, but this sorry is about hurt right? So where's the hurt/comfort when there is no depair?**

**Anyway:**

**Until next time, stay well :)  
**


	5. The end to the past

_Opps nearly forgot it again: disclaimer- I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, they belong to the magical Mrs Stephanie Meyer, without her, the vampire world will never be the same :) _

**Hello:)**

**Under 48 hours and you've got an update:) Once again fresh from the brain ;)**

**Thank you for the reviews! They are brilliant brain food :)**

**Anyway even though I said this won't be a regular updated story, but I'm just too addicted to writting it, I'm insane I tell you!**

**Well I feel like I need to anyway, this chapter and last chapter was supposed to be together as one, but the last chapter I thought should be on it's own so I've left it be. And so this is why I'm updating again already :)**

**And I'm sorry I need to hold you back at the moment to the mystery person from last chapter, but you'll find out who it is when the time comes for the fruit to ripen. (does that even make sense to you? Because I don't even understand what I've written :/)  
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**This is a long chapter I'm afraid:/**

** Enjoy :)  
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The smell of burning wood came drifting my way. I pushed the heavy eyelids away from each other. There was a spiral pattern on the ceiling I'm staring at.

I was in the living room of Aunt Clara's house. "Bella, are you okay?" I turn to see Aunt Clara with a very scared Annie behind her back. "I was going to call the police, you just ran out of your room leaving Annie crying on the bed. I was so worried, oh come here" and she came towards me to give me a warm embrace.

"How did I come back?" There was a moment of hesitation.

"I went out after you. What has happened sweetheart?" she asked me. I kept silent and looked away; I don't want to relive the moments and to be reminded of the painful farewell. But she wouldn't give up.

"Bella, if you don't tell me, you are going to go through Renée, I've not told her anything yet. But If I have to, I will. And you know how..." I cut her off before I imagine Renée overreacting, stomping into the police station and dragging Charlie out to catch the next flight up to Alaska.

"No, please don't Aunt Clara." I could feel my tears welling up. "But I can't even collect my thoughts together at the moment." I looked away again trying to prevent any eye contact.

If I were to face Charlie and Renée any time soon, I'm sure I'll break down. No matter how much I try, I won't be the Bella they know.

"Aunt Clara, do you think I could stay here with you a little while longer?" she brought her hands to mine. "I know... I know it will be an inconvenience, but I don't wan na break down in front of my parents." I made eye contact to let her into emotion that is passing through me.

"Off course darling, and don't you dare think you're an inconvenience. Annie here would enjoy your company won't you" she turned to nudge Annie a bit like teasing her, she giggled in response, but quickly became rigid again- maybe still scared from my behaviour earlier.

I feel so guilty to terrify Annie, she is still so young and yet I let her see me going into pieces, I should have been more careful and be mindful to who is around me. "I'm sorry Annie, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just having a hard time. I'm so sorry." She was still nervous but came out of the shadows of Aunt Clara, and gave me a sunny smile.

"Does that mean I'm forgiven?" I tried putting a smile on mine as well, but didn't do half as good job as Annie. She came up to give me a hug.

"Bella bear bear, what is wrong?"

And that was when I lost it again. But this time I tried to moderate this break down; "Edward is saying goodbye, Edward is saying goodbye. He is never going to come back." I kept my sobs low and soft. Annie understandingly patted my head.

I didn't go to school on a regular basis in the last few weeks; I don't want to let anyone into my broken world. I felt just like a walking corpse. I feel empty- how could he have so much influence on me? And how could he rob everything off me?

All I could do now is get out of the house, but try and act sane and normal while I'm still next to people. Each and every day consisted of the same routine of Aunt Clara trying to get some juice into me in the morning, say goodbye to Annie before she gets dropped off at school. I go out back into the forest every second I could so that I don't need to act, going back to my own world where I now live in, despair and the stupidly; longing to see Edward again. I go back into the house when Annie gets home, have a few biscuits that Aunt insisted in me eating or else she would tell mom of my unusual and unhealthy behaviour. Call home back in Forks to tell mom I'm still alive, but never made it any further with me making excuses up that I'm busy or hogging the phone when it was busy. Then go back to bed where I lay into the darkness and the awaiting nightmare of the repeated scene of Edward leaving me.

Except for the reason to be sane for my parent, Annie was the only thing holding me together. She would smile when I see her; wipe away the tears when they drop. She would dance when I was in need of the positive energy. And she would come and shake me to wake up in the morning to pull me away from my nightmares. It was may be of her positive energy that is helping me to recover. I didn't go into the forest as often no more. And Aunt Clara didn't need to use Renée as an excuse to make me eat my biscuits any more neither. Since I was recovering, I decided that I'll take the option on taking the work home to do.

So on the first Monday after weeks of hiding in Aunt Clara's protection, I entered the Alaska high school grounds. I didn't stop to say hello to the few people who I've been having lessons with, in hopes that as soon I get out of the school grounds, I would not need to or ever see the familiar face again.

After about half an hour talking to the receptionist who I saw the first day of my time at Alaska high school, and explaining to her why I have not been coming to school, I finally got out with a thick folder of work. And find it to be break time, where everyone is lingering around the site, out of the classrooms. And that was when I saw him, and the harsh reality that Edward has left me.

How could two people have so much resemblance? The same taste in clothing, the same height, the same eye brows, the same shade of strange colour in the hair, and the same full lips. He was staring my way again, but this time he has got a black shade in his eyes, they are bleak, almost black, hungry black. The face only reminded me of Edward when he was in pain, the one when he was upset.

The blonde shade came into view when a tall lady stood in front of Edward Cullen. She was talking to him while he was still staring, it seems as though he is not bothered, yet he nodded in response. And then she reached up, and at an angle telling the audience that she was kissing him.

I closed my eyes and turned around to run. This; was the scene I would have imagined with Edward and his new love. It only turned my nightmare into the ruthless reality. All I could do was run, and feel the remains of the heart cracking again. I see Peter waving a hello and lifting up a confused expression when I was running past him. He tried coming behind me, but withheld by the bell that is shrilling loudly behind me.

As I exit the school grounds I ran back to Aunt Clara's and straight into the forest again. I sat there under the same tree where I have visited over and over again in the past weeks. Letting the moisture flow on its own like it have been in the past days and weeks but this time it's not numb again, it stung, like the beginning. The resemblance has already got my heart aching, and then the kiss is just too much for the heart, it just cracked.

I could feel my phone vibrating; I took it out and looked at the screen displaying _Aunt Clara _and her number. It must have been hours since I was here, she must be worried. I slide the phone open and lifted it up to my ears. "Hey Aunt Clara"

"Bella! Where are you? I thought you just went to school to pick up some stuff, I called and they say some students saw you running crying from school. I'm so worried. What happened?"

"Sorry. It's nothing, don't worry about me I'm fine."

"Well, um, where are you? Do you wan na come back now? I'll come and pick you up if you want."

"It's alright Aunt Clara I'm not far away, I'll walk back."

"Okay then, see you later."

"Later."

I closed my phone tucked it into my pockets and stood up. Cleaning and scraping the snow off me as I walked. I lift my head up to see Edward Cullen a few yards away from me under a tree. His face was expressionless. He was frozen there, like a statue; he looked straight ahead, staring at me. How long have he been there? He now started making way towards me.

Trying to ignore him I turned and continued my way back to Aunt Clara's. But the part of me wants to know why he was doing it. I looked back to him standing still behind me again; he was looking at my back when I was walking away. I walked up to him to confront him, and his abnormal behaviour.

"Can I help you?"

His face softened. "No, I'm sorry. I just, I was trying to figure something out." He has got a velvety softness in his voice, like Edward's wrapped in honey.

"I'm... I'm sorry. But please stay away." I couldn't help but think that this Edward is my Edward. I can't fall back into the misery state again. I have to leave. So I turned around and started towards Aunt Clara's.

I need to leave, I have to leave, and I will leave. I can't be reminded of him again. This way the cycle will only repeat itself. I need to go back to Forks. It also given me a wakeup call; I've been pathetic in the past weeks, how could I let Aunt Clara and Uncle Nick and Annie see me in this state? I have only drowned myself in self-pity in the past week; let myself be devoured by the misery. He might have been my life up until now, but I need to make him into the past, or else I'll never be able to get out of this maze I've been in the past days and weeks.

Once I exit this maze, he is dead. He has died from the flu along with his parents. He will no longer be with me in life. I no longer hold his love, and he, no longer hold mine. He will be my past.

I got into the house, Annie came up to give me a hug. "Bella bear bear!"

"Hey Annie, I'll play with you in a mo, just need to talk to Aunt Clara." And I walked towards the kitchen.

"Smells nice Aunt Clara"

"You're back Bella!" she turned around from cooking.

"You think I could eat with you tonight?"

"Of course darling, you know I have always made some more for you."

"Thanks. Sorry to make you worry all this time."

"Bella, don't you dare. I'm glad you're here with us actually, I'm sure Annie has had a lot of fun with you since you've been here."

"More like freaking her out."

"Come on Bella, Annie have you to play with other than her boring parents."

"I don't deserve this; you're all too kind Aunt Clara." She turned around to resume her cooking.

"I want to go back to Forks"

"Bella, are you sure?"

"Absolutely"

Two day after, I've finished packing ready for the flight tomorrow. When Annie got home she brought a surprise for me. "Bella bear bear, card for you!" Inside the yellow envelope it revealed a white card covered in sparkling glitter. I open the card to see her little scripples of letters.

_Bella bear bear_

_Be happy_

_Annie_

And she has drawn a big smiley face on it. Even though it was the work of a four years old, but it was beautiful. "Oh, Annie, thank you! It's beautiful" and I gave her hug.

"You like, Bella bear bear?"

"Yes, very much" I dropped her back down, and let her do a heart catching spiral spin.

"You going, Bella bear bear?"

I nodded. She went on to frown but made a quick recovery when Aunt Clara called her down to her snack and went downstairs to get her milk and cookies. I packed the card into my bag, where it was next to the farewell letter Edward have sent me. I don't know why I have kept it; it has only reminded me of the painful truth.

I picked it up to throw it into the bin, but found something hard in it. My conscious mind told me not to go back to it and don't find out. But the other side has lit up like a flame, it lingered between the feeling of curiosity and the last bit of hope I've had. Letting it win I took it out of the envelope and find a key wrapped inside another letter. Again, written in his perfect hand script.

_Bella,_

_I know whatever I do will not forgive me for my sin. But please accept this as my last gift. It is the key to my Forks home, which my parents have left behind to me. I have changed it to go under your name; you could do whatever you like to it. Please don't think this is compensation, but only as a gift, a gift from a friend. I am ashamed to come to this, but there are no other way I could think of to say sorry. I'm so sorry Bella. I'm sorry._

_Edward._

Edward Masen, what are you trying to do? Are you trying to crumple my world completely? You've given me the house to all our past.

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**What do you think? Okay? Good? Bad?**

**Do you like the way I have taken Bella and the story to?**

**Is it as juicy as I've promised from last chapter?**

**Feed me brain food and let me take Bella to her new chapter of life!**

**Until then, stay well :)  
**


	6. The return to the faithful loveland

**Hello :)**

**I have to say sorry first of all that this is not a very juicy one :/ (And sheepishly... this is a long one)  
**

**It's because I need to build more background information I'm afraid.**

**Believe me, it is boring writing this at the moment, but thanks to all the brain food I've been fed I'm getting the energy to pull through it quicker than would have done without them, so THANK YOU VERY MUCH!**

**So please believe me also that I don't intend for the story to keep on going as filled with boring bits. So bear with me and I'll get the juicy bis out as soon as I could, pinkie promise ;)**

**As always I had to complain abit :/ I've had another rough day :/ It's just not been my best days at the moment, everything is getting more complicated :/ So that's the weekly dose of complain I'm afraid :/ And here I escape to my twice weekly dose of fantasy :)  
**

**Anyways lets not let you read too much of the boring bits that no one reads that I write :/**

**As always:**

**Enjoy :)**

**

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The plane landed at one in the afternoon. Descending down the staircase of the plane I see mom and dad standing next to each other, both here to pick me up. Charlie must have taken some time off and came straight from work; he is still in his uniform.

Walking towards them, mom cut the distance by running to me to give me a hug. And dad joined in wrapping himself around us both. "Hey mom, hey dad" I said.

"Oh I miss you so much darling. You've been gone for so long, I'm sure I was getting more insane by the second" Renée is known to be over exaggerating

"Welcome back kiddo" dad mumbled, even though it was a simple phrase but having it out from Charlie is actually quite moving, he is a man of few words.

"I'm sorry, I've been gone for so long" and I broke the circle.

"Well you're back now, let's go back home and have some milkshake." Renée pulled me towards her yellow car.

"Mom, I need to get my stuff"

"Don't worry darling, Charlie's on the case." She winked at me.

"But... It's my stuff, I should..."

"Come on Bella, he has got it already, your dad will meet us at home later, first we're having our milkshake." I have a feeling that this is not the type of making up session with my mom.

Being in Forks has got a mixed feeling of relief, pain and comfort. The atmosphere was heavy up in Alaska where Edward sent me a goodbye, so being away from it has gotten the feeling off my chest better, and being back to mom and dad has got a comforting feel, like warm socks on cold feet. But the pain could not escape me, the evidence that he has been together with me from the past in this place is just everywhere. I can not hold onto him again, I reminded myself when I realised that we were just a few minutes away from home.

When we got home, mom wasted no time in getting us ready for catching time with her signature strawberry and cookie milkshake in our small kitchen with the yellow cupboards that mom painted in attempts to bring some sunshine into the house.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I believe you have a lot of explaining to do." Renée ask as soon as we were settled into our seats.

Even though it would be lying to my mom, but I will have to do it, or else I'll forever be stuck to this depression. "He is dead." I allowed dry sobs to come out. Renée dropped her milkshake back onto the kitchen table and started cooing me. I can't believe that I am crying for him, but for two reason; one, mum will think I am cry because I've lost him, second, I have lost him but not the way people will think it to be.

In my heart he is now dead, but in real life he is not, I feel so selfish; and so useless, why am I lying to my parents for someone who've left me? The person who I've been with since the beginning of everything; Edward Masen, you're a cruel person.

But that was kind of the last thing I could do for him too. Keep his perfect reputation down here in this small town, where only the town knows about us, if he is smart enough to no turn up back into this gloomy town, his betrayal will be a secret, and he could just keep going on in life without being a unfaithful man in other people's eyes.

I'm glad that I've had time to collect my thoughts up in Alaska, or else I have no doubt that I would spill everything I've been holding back in the phone calls to my mum since I've read the letter. The very thought that mom is here for me is just too much to resist, but somehow I just let the tears run without saying another word, the only words being said was from the reassuring ones from mom trying to sooth her sixteen year old teenage daughter.

When Charlie came home later that day, he was filled in with the lie. But to save him from doing all the soothing work, I pretended to sleep, that way he could think of something better than having to face a crying daughter.

I was allowed to stay home for a few days, but said I would go back as soon as I could to catch up with everyone and everything I've missed from the trip to Alaska. After all I'm prepared, the minute I step into the cabin of the plane, I promised myself to leave Forks with Charlie and Renée when I could finally become a financial support to the family too. This way it would be less painful to face our past, and I would finally be able to run away from all this forever. But all of that is not to be happening if I don't have the grades. And now that Edward id not here to help me make up my flaws in learning, I need to concentrate with all my cells. I'm not sure if I'm trying to numb myself in the same time, but the idea seemed too good to resist.

Finally after the weekend I'm allowed back to school. And that is when I meet my friends again for the first time in the past few months. The little friendship group me and Edward have in Forks is kind of an average one; there's always me and Edward who makes the couple out of the group, but soon to be changed, Angela, a shy girl, Jessica and Lauren who are the social news reporter type of girls, Mike, who is the next sporty person next to Edward, and Eric, the smarter one of the group but once again after Edward. Edward had too many perfection.

I walked to school since it was a rare sunny day. On the way though I had many attention from people. Forks is just never too small for all the gossip to spread around in just one weekend consisting of two days. People heard the death of the Masen family, and made automatic greetings to me, mostly regarding the Masen family and to hopefully get more of the news from me. But I didn't allow myself to make up any more lies, so I politely greeted them back with a smile and passed on the subject with complimenting their rare in-use summer shorts and dresses, which seems to always do the job.

In home room I was greeted by everyone. I pulled on my smile and greeted them back, much of thanks to the time I had in Alaska to prepare for this.

"Bella are you Okay?" Angela always the most sincere one spoke to me last, you could always tell that Angela means what she says. So I had no problem smiling back at her and making a conversation with her.

"I think I am" I said shrugging.

"Bella, Edward wouldn't want you to be upset over his death. Cheer up; at least he will always be there in heaven for you." Angela always knew that I'm pretending, just how? I know I'm trying to smile, but I also know that I didn't mean it. Only people as observant as Angela would know that.

"I'm still coping" I gave up on the idea on trying to look okay. And that she came up to give me a hug.

"Hey, sorry to bother you with this, but we've got a project in history due date in about one month's time, you want to join in our group? And I thought it'll get things off your mind for a few weeks"

"Sure" I said and smiled. Angela, you really are a good friend, you know exactly how to help me.

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**Now, as you may know I'm doing some stage/character building at the mo, so if you could, would you tell me how you think of Bella's character at the moment and others if you've got opinions about them too? You don't have to if you want to, but it will be a real treat for me :) And for my rough day too :)  
**

**I know it is boring, I can't promise but I'll try and get the next chapter out as soon as I could, the weekend is coming up soon ;)**

**And I also promise you that after the boring bits (and not very much of them left now) there is gon na a nice juicy bit for you afterwards**

**So feed me my brain food and let you bring out the boring bits out for you quicker so you get the juicy parts earlier too ;)**

**Until next time, stay well :)**

**P.s. The boring elements are still about, so if you want and if you are in need of another story to read as well, have a look at my other story (Charm de la Mirage). This is not exactly an advertisment but I would love it if you give me opinions on that one too :)  
**


	7. The next stage

_Opps nearly forgot it again: disclaimer- I do not own Twilight or any of it characters, they belong to the magical Mrs Stephanie Meyer, without her, the vampire world will never be the same :) _

**Hello :)**

**Just little over 24 hours and I've managed to update!**

**I'm happy :)**

**Anyway; sorry for the chapters you've been reading have been really really boring. **

**And thank you for the review :) It's so sweet, saying it's a good boring bit, it has really made my day :) I was absolutely dehydrated (brain wise) and wanted to go to bed as soon as I got home, but the review got me going and made me start typing instead of napping :) Thank you so much :) (Okay I know it contained one too many smiley faces, but I'm happy Okay?)**

**And I'm proud to announce that I decided to colour it up a bit with some drama! It should be slightly more interesting and so,what am I doing writing the stuff that no one is gon na read?**

**Enjoy:)**

**

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Being back in Forks has not been that bad; with thanks to Angela in helping me to take my mind off mine and Edward's past in this small town. Also with thanks to Eric and Mike Newton's effort in trying to help me forget about Edward.

Second week back from spring break we finally finished our project and hand in for final grading. At lunch, as usual we sat in the table at the side of the cafeteria. Mike and Eric came in together, for some reason they were both blushing. I didn't realise all the symptoms until Tyler came up to ask. "Hey Bella, you wan na date?"

Being confused I decided to pretend I didn't catch it "I'm sorry?"

"I mean, like date date" he said with some form of hand gesture, and kind of awkward too. I can't believe what I'm hearing at the moment. Even though they didn't know that Edward is not dead in real life, but you still wouldn't ask me out yet right?

Before I could reject, Eric came into the conversation as well. "Wait, no Bella, I wanted to ask you first, but Tyler jumped queue" he said in high speed, like you would trying to snatch something when you are in a supermarket discount fight.

"Wait, no Bella, chose me." Mike said putting his hand up.

"Come on guys, I've asked Bella first" Tyler tried to pull it off cool and laid his hand on my shoulder.

Not wanting to sound rude I declined pleasantly. I squished myself out of his arm and said. "Sorry guys, I don't think I'll be date a while." And put on a weak smile.

"Sorry Bella, we didn't mean to... you know..." they said.

"It's alright" Then all of them guiltily walked back silently back into their seats and didn't look up again the whole lunch time.

After lunch was time for gym, getting changed in the changing room was more or less back to normal now. Whenever people said hi I was able to greet them back with a smile with my positive energy.

I thought everything was back to the better side until I see the beams hanging half way down the walls, gymnastic. Out of all the sports that I hate, gymnastics is the worst; I have a tendency to fall of the apparatus a lot. And somehow he would always end up catching me before I land on the crash mats.

Coach Burgin seems to always know to make a harder day for me personally. After demonstrations, he ordered us into different groups to different stations, out of all of everyone I was together with Lauren.

Lauren and I are not the best together, she, for some reason never liked me, the only reason we talked was because she was friends with Jessica since kinder garden.

I went on first to get this over with, half way through the course I was stuck with Lauren wait impatiently behind me.

"Hurry up!" I heard her say. It was a harsh tone.

"I'm sorry, um, I think I'm stuck." I turned around to face her.

"Well get out of the way so we could go through". So I tried back up, but the beam is going vertically up, in fear that I will roll down, I tried advancing, but I just couldn't physically go up. I don't get it, why does it look so easy from below, but when you're on it, it's so hard?

"Um, sorry, do you wan na go first?"

Frustrated, Lauren made her way to where I was on the beam, trying to go further than I was, she pushed herself up the beam with her hands around it. It created a big movement, shaken the beam, and then we both landed on the crash mat. Unfortunately I was on the bottom and she landed on my back.

"Arghhhh, Bella! Whatdid you do! I've fallen because of you!" she managed to shot out all those before I even stood up and ended up in banging my head on the beam as well.

"Oww" I whimpered.

"I'm... I'm sorry... I didn't mean it. Me and gym just don't mix" I tried to relax the situation.

"Well, congratulations freak, you've just figured that out." And then she let out something like a fire breathe, I could almost see the steam.

"Hey, chill out here ladies. What's happened?" Coach Burgin came between us to put some distance. I looked around the gym to see that we have got everyone's attention. Everyone stopped in their tracks staring over this direction.

"Bella pushed me off the beam!" I was looking around the gym until I heard the words, I could not believe it. I was just there stuck half way, just being stuck and no other movement. My eyes are stinging now, not from widening my eyes at the words of Lauren though. But the fact that I have not done anything, or anything wrong in particular and yet she had to lie about it.

"Um, coach, I saw what's happened, and I saw it was Lauren who was the careless one" Mike said, and after him others agreeing.

"Are Newton and the others talking the truth?" coach Burgin turned to us.

"Arghhhh" and Lauren ran out of the gym.

"Everyone go on back to your course, I've got some business to sort out with Miss Mallory." And he went out of the exit.

Everyone at once came crowded around me like a bunch of bees.

"Bella, are you okay?" Mike asked first.

"Um, I'm fine." I said with a dizzy head. "Um, I'll sit out; I sort of banged my head a little".

When class finished, we went back to the changing rooms to get changed. Opening my locker I was turned around violently to be confronted by an exploding Lauren.

"I hope you're happy. First you hog onto Edward, now you have everyone else to be on your side" and she walked off again.

I finally get it now, even after the first few years together since the beginning of high school. Lauren didn't exactly been mean to me before me and Edward officially declared we were dating. Everyone has been giving me hints, but somehow I just didn't get the message myself. Lauren liked Edward. She disliked me because I was there, with Edward since the beginning. I can't believe it.

After the event, me and Lauren has been staying out of the way of each other. And we haven't spoken since then; the only interaction between us was sitting at the same table at lunch. But her glares started to lighten at the same rate as the stories of the event calming down.

School was also going back to normal, with everyone getting used to the idea that Edward is not here anymore as well. And the fact that I don't date anymore. Sophomore year; the one where I've lost my love, carried on with life, and going back to normal has all happened.

Putting them back behind me; junior year, here I come. The summer before me is the future to my new self I promised myself.

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**Eeek! What am I doing? Am I ending it?**

**What do you think? Is this the ending to Bella and Edward's love? Is this going to be too short to feed your Bella and Edward's needs! Will all this be enough to be the ending? Is everything setled now? After all this is hard to write, and it answers all the summary description...  
**

**Well that is for you to review and me to reply and tell you in the next post. Epilogue or more? Feed me my brain food and my brain will tell you via reply ;) Brainy up there promises treats for everyone who feeds it!**

**Until next time, stay well :)**

**P.s. I've had fun writing this story... so far?  
**


	8. Epilogue The pain lingers

**The summer without Edward was bearable, but not normal. It didn't feel right. The throbbing pain in my heart came to haunt me every day. Even though life was back to what seems normal, but somehow, the colours I see is not as bright.**

**Summer was supposed to be the only break from all the wind and rain, but it never happened this summer. Gloominess only surrounded the atmosphere; there was nothing to look forward to, only to Renée's strawberry and cookie milkshake every morning.**

**Every time I pass his house I would see his smile. Edward Masen, why did you poison me? Drowning me with all your love and at the end to only find it was limited.**


	9. The next chapter

_Opps nearly forgot at again: disclaimer- I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, they belong to the magical Mrs Stephanie Meyer, without her, the vampire world will never be the same :) _

**Hello :)**

**I'm back... :)**

**Or shall I say Edward is back ;)**

**Well, since this has been put on hold for soooooooo long I've decided drama is needed ;)  
**

**Well, I have got a lot of rubbish to talk about and could type up on, but I guess people don't want to read the none-story-related stuff that I write that no one reads, so without further ado, I give you : The next chapter to Farewell, My dear love :)**

**Enjoy:)**

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_Beep beep beep..._

Sun crept through the curtains. A sunny day in Forks... The first day of school after the long painful summer vocation.

I shut the alarm and dragged my frame to the bathroom next door. The process in the bathroom always takes the longest out of all my morning routine. I switch on the shower and let the water flow, washing off all the soreness I have gotten from twisting and turning on my bed the whole night, the warm water bit by bit hitting the back of mine, piercing into my skin, creating a massage effect, unknotting all the of my skin from behind.

Eventually I know the end was to come or else I'll end up with cold water throwing daggers at me when they come. I switch the water off and layered a towel over myself. Brushing my teeth then wiping my face and body clean after all the hassle in the bath, I was finally refreshed for another fighting day with pain.

I went back to my room and opened my wardrobe, almost empty; mom was on a trip to a fashion show across the country that she wanted to go to since last Christmas, and Charlie, well, let's say it's already amazing the washing machine had not been leaking water or broken down yet due to his mishandle of the thing. So I was left by myself with doing my own chores, which, I really should have been doing, but summer vocation and pain took over, I could only drown myself into work and none-romantic related books to survive each living single hour passed.

I open up to see the brilliant blue summer dress mother Masen had made for me just last year before the Masen family moved to Alaska, it was a dress she had made me for mine and Edward's final date. They say the colour blue complimented my skin tone, and that was why she made it for me, both for her son and me. I cringed at the contact of the dress while looking through the very few items on display in my wardrobe. They were all either too small from previous years that I have not got round to throwing away, or gifts from family and friends that is not really me and not very fitting for school. After a long hunt for a T-shirt that would be appropriate, I found out I'm out of jeans and trousers, I look into the laundry pile, but repulsed by the dirt lingering on them. I finally gave up and put on the blue dress, this will be a farewell gesture, and I'll throw it away when I get home tonight, this will be the last memory I will have of the Masen family.

I look at the clock and saw the time, if I am to get my laundry into the washing machine before I set off for school I'd best get going. I quickly grabbed my laundry basket and took it down the stairs with me to the kitchen. I stuff them all into the washing machine then went through all the procedures in working the machine, and setting it to the right mode. When all that was done, I look up to see the time again, and realised that now I have only got five minutes to make a fifteen minute trip to school. _Great! _

I grabbed a banana on the table for breakfast's sake and dashed upstairs to get my bag. Grabbing my keys and having a final look on myself before I set off for school, I locked the door, put it under the plat pot and made my way to my truck. The aggressive engine went on full blast and I was out of the drive.

Luckily I was only two minutes late when I arrived in the school parking lot as people made way into the building. The new academic year repeated itself, and before I knew it I was down to the end of my last hour.

I made way to the school parking lot and look up to see the silver Volvo. The door opened and in slide a girl with wavy strawberry blonde hair, with a hand holding the door open for the lady. A familiar scene came back, this was what it was like before he went, before he left. I snapped out of it, looking straight back at the blonde girl, Tanya, the girl who kissed Edward Cullen.

My own logic work to find the owner of the hand holding the door open, could it be...?

Sure enough I see copper red, tousled hair. My chest cracked, and inside the crack, solid movements were plunging into it, it made my chest heavy, like someone had punched a hole into my chest. The pain was slipping back into my system from my busy day. The door of the Volvo closed, the owner of the hand turned and looked in my direction. His original good mood must have been disrupted, his crookled smile I've been missing was now gone. His eye wide open, Edward Masen. His dazzling emerald green was looking at me.

I felt small, I needed to hide. He is looking at me. I quickly looked down to the floor and made my way to my truck. I started the engine, clutched onto my steering wheel, with enough courage I look up and put my foot down on the gas pedal to make way home.

I took my keys out of the ignition and without bothering to take my bag ran to the door and shut it behind me. I sprawl myself over the floor to let them out; the children of my emotions, they spilled out of my sockets as I violently shock my body on the floor. I couldn't take it.

He told me, he promised! He promised me, he won't ever come back! Why do I need to face the consequence of sobs when he was the one who was to make those heart breaking decisions! Growling noises came out as my body tried to drive the lump in my throat out of the system.

I cried and cried as the door became unlocked but not Charlie was let in. Him, the person I wish to stay the hell away from me was appearing around the door.

"Bella" he said softly.

"Go away!" I stood up trying to close the door on him, but his muscles many times stronger than my own held it open for himself.

"Bella, please listen..." he begged, he softly begged...

With enough courage and tears, I pushed the door against him. "You're trespassing a private property" I said through gritted teeth as I used my strength against his.

"Not, when I have got access" He held up a brass key. Shoot! The one under the plant pot. He had enough and slammed the door open, making his way into my home and shutting it tightly behind him, locking the dead bolt.

"Bella, listen to me!" he roared.

"What do you want" I said through the tears. "You promised never to let me see you again! And now what? You bring the girl you left me for with you!" I almost screamed.

"Please Bella, please..." his voice soften again, his angel face scrunched up.

"Get out! I don't want to see you again!" I pointed at the door.

"Would you stop being so stubborn!" He yelled. "If you don't ever want to see me again, why would you wear the dress that would remind you of our last date together that my mother made you?" he stated.

"It's a farewell gesture Edward!" I said in defence. "It means nothing, I'm burning it tonight!"

"No!" he snapped. "You can't!"

"I have every right to!" I shouted at him.

He stepped forward and grabbed me by the neck. Crashing his lips to mine. Tears spilled out even more, after this, how will I ever be able to climb back up again? Damn you Edward, why are you dooming me to my own living hell!

He roughly layered his lips on mine. His, still as soft I remembered they were to be the last time we kissed at the airport. My lips stayed still as his made work out of mine. His sweet scent passing into my mouth to my throat, it tingled my throat to taste more. I yearned for him since the second he had taken off with his family. Finding no reason to deny this anymore, I lost the will and opened my tight lips to taste him more.

I grabbed his hair and leaned closer to him, he soften his hold. We both gently caressed each other's swollen lips and his plumped lips were in between my own. We were in the tender bliss he had started. Not satisfied, but the need of air made our lips part. But we held each other in place. I clung onto every part of him I could, I was afraid that he would walk out the door in the next second and leave me here even more broken than before. I needed him. He can't go.

"Please..." I paused, not knowing what I wanted. "Please, don't break me" I begged silently as I looked into his raising chest, as he takes in his fair share of the oxygen.

"Isabella Marie Swan, please... take me back" he softly whispered next to my ear and reached up to let his warm lips touch my forehead.

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**Sorry *_* short chapter- but really concentrated juicy chapter for you maybe?**

**Hope you've liked it ;)**

**Brainy just wants to get fed now ... _pretty please_**? **Says Brainy up there :) I come in pieces!**

**Promise more to come, if you do feed brainy though :) And maybe then Brainy will treat you individually (stress the: _Individually)_ to even more juicy stuff? I don't know... depends... ;)**

**Well, until next time, stay well :)**

**P.s. I've had fun writing this juicy chapter, will you let me write more? Remember there is still ALOT to explain... Tanya? Edward Cullen/ Edward Masen? And the rest of the Cullens! And so much more coming on the way! And will Bella accept Edward for breaking her heart? Will she be able to step out of the shadows once she has got her mind back into the right track?  
**

**P.s.s. I have another project named _Broken as a whole,_ it'll make me really really happy if you read it and give me some opinions maybe? Pretty please? (Imagine a kiddy tucking at your trousers for a lollipop with the puppy eyes?)  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone :)**

So I've not properly updated for a while now. And sorry, this is not one either- please don't give up on my though :)

So I have had major exams, and it just about happens that I have about 5 more in the weeks to come. And hopefully I'll be able to work on my stories more frequently then :) Considering I'll have more than 12 weeks to myself without any school influence- life is good when you leave compulsory education for good, but I've got myself back to the death trap with continuing my education again after the summer, so technically I still have big education issues -.- (Not that you need to know my life)

Anyway, I really shoud have done this a long a go; the last chappie, if you have not figured out yet, yes! It is an April's fool, and if you knew what time I've posted it, yes it was past the right time for Aprils fool joke, but seriously who cares! And in my mind, I want Edward to come back :)

AND if you have not found out yet, I have indeed started the next part. But not in this story postie area, or what ever you call it. The next part of the story is called : Coming back, my dear love. (You'll be able to find it on my profile) I have actually started the story months ago, but I didn't want to confirm to readers yet until I got the story somewhere(which it still isn't, but I think it would be alright to come clean now). I'm sure many readers might have discovered the link, but if you haven't then here you go :) At the moment, Coming back, is at a bit of a mid crisis that I need Bella to come to the rescue as soon as I have the time :) So I hope you'll give it a try if you haven't yet :)

So firstly, this note is to tell you that the last chapter is not real- it's april fools, and to apologise. Secondly, the next part of the story has started at 'Coming back, my dear love', and I'll be really happy if readers would give it a try and give me feedback like you have so far for Farewell.

I promise I'll get back to Coming back as soon as I have time, and how about I make promise that it'll come before my prom? Speaking of which I have yet to get my dress and shoes and bag! Ahhh! Crisis over here myself -.- And less than a month to go, EEEKKKKK!

Okay, so I best stop blabbling now and keep on typing the stuff about me and my life that readers don't read ;)

It'll really make my day when I see readers giving Coming back (next part to Farewell) ago :)

I need to blabble more, but I'm sure I'll get irritating soon -.- (Thats what you get when you have a whole week of half term in front of you I tell you)

Until next time, stay well :)


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